I’ve been thinking about hospitality again. Every so often, I think about hospitality in a kind of abstract, existential or theoretical way. I think different people define it in their own way and so it’s one of those things that means something slightly different to each individual.

 

So, what is hospitality really?

 

Is it just entertaining? 

 

Is it having impressive spreads of appetizers artfully placed on your kitchen counter?

 

Is it having a perfectly themed tablescape for a luncheon or dinner party?

 

Is it having a dedicated guest bedroom full of travel sized products that overnight company may have forgotten? Is it big, fluffy bed linens and towels, a monogrammed bathrobe and matching slippers?

 

Or is hospitality, at its heart, simpler, more basic?

 

I think it is. It probably should be. Because, being hospitable isn’t about the performance, it’s about the feeling it evokes for your company. It’s about giving people a sense of place, of belonging and nourishment. Everything about your home can be humble or modest. It’s your heart behind it that gives hospitality its depth and richness.

 

A quick Google search informs me that hospitality is a noun and defined this way:

 

The friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.

 

Isn’t that lovely? I think, for me, I subconsciously make it a performance. And I don’t want to make it performative, you know? I want to practice hospitality as an art that can be improved, refined over time. Since so much of life is about maintaining rather than arriving, maybe that should be the mindset when it comes to hospitality, too.

 

With those considerations, here are four practical ways to practice hospitality as a form of art to be crafted:

 

1. Hospitality as “Letting Someone Into Your Real Life”

 

This is where we drop the performance. While we love our homes to be presentable, pristine, even when guests come over, it’s in the dailies of life where trust is built. 

 

Growing up, we used to hide all of the clutter, stuffing it into closets or behind furniture. Because of that, I’m not a big tolerator of unsightly clutter. But, there are still some things off to the side and within eyesight that we are slowly working through clearing out. We live in our house and it’s ok to let people see that we live there.

 

Other examples of inviting people into your daily life could be:

 

 

Hospitality doesn’t have to interrupt your life or grind it to a halt. It can simply include someone in it. When people are welcomed into ordinary moments, they often feel more at ease than they would at a formal gathering.

 

2. The Open Table (Even When It’s Simple)

 

Especially when it’s simple. Certain circles and communities call this breaking bread together or fellowshiping. Connections happen naturally around food because it’s such a basic shared experience. 

 

The food doesn’t have to be elaborate. In fact, it may be even better when it’s simple, wholesome and nourishing. 

 

Some ideas to consider:


The table is not about impressing people. It’s about creating a place where conversation can linger. Something as simple as cheese and crackers offered with warmth often feels more inviting than something complicated.

 

3. Create “Soft Invitations”

 

I have this picture in my mind of receiving guests with such a show of formality. A special dress, pearl necklace, heels. Maybe it’s a leftover vision from the 1950’s? 

 

But that’s not our modern world. As we craft our own artforms of hospitality, I think it’s important to keep in mind your company’s needs and provide flexibility. This can be achieved by cultivating small, low-pressure invitations.

 

Here are some examples to get your juices flowing:

 

 

Hospitality becomes easier when invitations are flexible. A soft invitation gives people room to say yes without pressure. It also removes pressure from you as the hostess.

 

4. Make Your Home a Place People Naturally Land

 

As we create a home for ourselves and loved ones that invites and provides sanctuary, we can extend that into our hospitality practice. This way hospitality becomes a posture rather than an event.

 

Simple ways you may already be doing this:

 

 

When your home already holds small gestures of welcome (often that you’ve created for yourself!), inviting someone in becomes effortless. Hospitality becomes part of the rhythm of the house rather than a special production.

 

 

☙ ❧

 

When a group of women came over the other week for a gathering, we all agreed how much of a gift it is to the homeowner as it is to our guests when we open up our homes to others. My home is by no means perfect. There are lots of areas that drive me crazy but I also blind myself to and so they remain that way. It is cozy, though, and I enjoy keeping it welcoming for my own peace and tranquility. The feedback I’ve received from others tells me I’ve been able to achieve that feeling.

 

I’m learning, though, that hospitality doesn’t begin when the house is perfect. It begins when we decide our homes are meant to be shared. And sharing our homes has become an extension of sharing our hearts.

 

 

 

 

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